If it is to be, it’s up to me!

I first heard these words years ago and they really hit home. What a concept! No more blaming someone else, no more pity party, no more hopelessness, why not make a fresh start.

These words, "if it is to be, it’s up to me", have helped me through many a confusing moment. You know the moments when your spirit starts to slide into low energy, dark clouds seem to form, you find yourself out of flow, and out of sync and your dreams seem far from reach. You ask yourself, how did I get here from where I once was or where I want to be. In my minds eye its almost like a heavy, wet blanket stuck on my back. The negative conditioning that lives inside us, speaking up, demonstrating its power and grip.

You can’t just blame Mom

We all know people who blame others for their circumstances. Historically it’s Mom who gets blamed the most. We tend to blame her for all of life’s misgivings, regrets and tribulations. Mom is so easily blamed for why we are the way we are. Our education level, our career, our relationship problems, how we treat others, our health issues, weather we’re fat or skinny, introverted or extroverted, or have fire in the belly, even right down to the memorys we choose to keep circulating in our mind’s eye.

We also try to blame others

We can also blame dad, siblings, our spouse, or significant other, teachers, a boss or co-worker even our nationality, religion, or our red hair. The truth is, our words and actions are our responsibility alone.

Our thoughts become our beliefs and our beliefs become the religion that we live our life by

Our memories and our conditioning growing up can be used as a justification or reason for acting the way we do. We have conditioned ourselves to blame others. We have conditioned our very thoughts of what is acceptable in our own eyes. Sometimes it is like the blind leading the blind. Our thoughts leading us without us pausing a moment and asking: "is it even true?" "Is this belief still true or was it ever true?" Was this belief meant to have been for one use and not to be applied for the rest our life?

At an early age I was conditioned

Among other things, I know I was conditioned to be a stay at home mom, homemaker, and caregiver, and to always give the best of me away. I can't pin point when, where, or by whom the seed was planted. Most likely it was the example set by my stay at home mother which was reinforced by what was accepted and admired during the years of my upbringing, for example through TV shows and family sit-coms we watched like The Donna Reed Show, I love Lucy, The Dick Van Dyke Show, Bewitched, and Please don’t eat the Daises, etc. I may have also been conditioned the day I overheard my parents talking when they didn’t know I was listening and absorbing their every word. Have you ever had what you thought was a private conversation and came to find out later that a loved one had inadvertently overheard you. Conditioning can happen without the speaker knowing the consequences of their statement. It has happened to all of us.

We can chose to adopt a healthier way of thinking

It is up to me to examine and determine if my beliefs are still working for me and to look into the beliefs that have been set by me a week ago, a year ago or 30 years ago. This isn’t an overwhelming task, you just catch them as they come up. The more introspective you are the more aware you become. Sometimes a negative belief gets through, sneaks by you and bites you again, but once you know how to be watchful of conditioning you begin to turn the corner toward a more healthy way of thinking.

What conditioning do you hold inside of you?

What negative conditioning do you have about work ethic, weight, eating habits or smoking. What about abuse, verbal, emotional or physical. Where does it stop, why is it accepted, who makes it stop? I don’t know of an occurrence where blame, pity, stuffing it or depression puts you on a positive path.

Self development and self change are what corrects negative conditioning. I remember in Popeye's cartoon he would say: "I am what I ams and that’s all that I ams". You can continue to live by Popeye’s motto or you can adopt the motto: If it is to be, it’s up to me. The difference is enormous in how you will live your life, your future, your relationships, your career, how you interact with others and most importantly the integrity you have with yourself.

More Clarity. More Momentum. More Results.